glossandchucks

opening this account in case Twitter really is breathing its last breath. I'll come back and make it pretty later.

edited to add: I was so flustered with the whole Twitter thing that I forgot I could just change the name on my old DW

seriouslyclaire (it's mostly just an archive of my LJ, because I didn't want to lose everything when things went to hell in a handbasket over there). At any rate, I'll be here from now on and updating at least semi-regularly, because I miss the whole journaling/blogging/~~spilling my guts and not having to do it in a series of threaded tweets~~ thing.

If you're here, you probably already know me from livejournal, twitter, tumblr, etc, but if not, it's cool; you're still welcome to stay. I only bite if you ask nicely.

Current Music: dallas stars vs. ny isles

i am so very tired of being the only person in this house who understands closed door = knock first. or just do not disturb, period.

anyway. i'm about to go through my bookshelves in earnest to make my boxes for selling to hpb in mid-april. taking the. opportunity to get rid of all the stuff i've amassed that i don't actually give a shit about. basically, i'm putting a lot of financial books, personal development, and spirituality stuff in the boxes. i'm tired of trying to "fix" myself and make myself into someone i'm not. granted, i do have things i need to work on, and am working on, but i bought a whole bunch of books and stuff because i convinced myself i needed to be a certain type of person to be successful, and i'm just not buying into that anymore. so. yeah.

i'm about to decide that my definition of "successful" ought to just revert to what 15/16 year old claire wanted for herself.

Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Location: home
Current Music: fall out boy~ i've got all this ringing in my ears and none on my fingers

well, it only took 9 years, but i think i almost remember who i am... who i was becoming. the me that i liked and that felt good about herself.

you know, before that all got blown to hell through a whole series of events that i don't want to rehash anymore.

it still kills me that i let other people rip that sense of myself away from me.

it kills me that i live with and am financially dependent on someone who keeps trying to do it and gets passive-aggressive af every time i try to step out of what she wants me to be.

it's gotta stop sometime tho, right? somehow, some way, sometime.

the good news is: i'm back to this shit aggravating the fuck out of me and NOT immediately defaulting to the idea that unaliving myself is the solution. i'm sure some professionals would say that being petty and spiteful and verbally combative isn't an improvement, but they would be wrong. very wrong.

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Location: home
Current Music: tori amos~~ little earthquakes

Welp.

I went over to my former DW home to decide which entries to move over here, and I backread all the way to March 2015. Mistakes were made. Or maybe it wasn't a mistake, because while I definitely ended up in my feelings, it was also a good reminder that I don't ever again want to be so caught up in someone that I start ignoring red flags and put my own needs and values on the back burner. Maybe it was a lesson I needed to learn more than once for it to actually stick.

( navel gazing ahead )

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Location: home
Current Music: fall out boy~ don't you know who i think i am?

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lip gloss? check. Chuck Taylors? check. now where the heck are my car keys?

Recent Entries

Sticky: welcome (AKA the one where Claire guesses she's back on DW)

i chimed in with a "haven't you people ever heard of knocking on a goddamn door?"

give me life, give me pain, give me myself again

we're broken down on memory lane

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March 2024

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